As a former working mother, I am ashamed to say that I had some preconceived notions of the world of stay-at-home moms (SAHMs). Having only viewed the world from the outside it sure seemed like they had it easy (in some respects). You know, aside from the whole children around all time business. As a working mother yourself, did you have these thoughts? Or was it just me? The grass was greener, until I got here!
I thought I would debunk some of the myths that I had…
1. Stay-at-Home Moms Nap
Ummmm, no. Just this afternoon, I walked into my house with the baby sleeping in the carseat. Praying quietly to myself, I slowly (very slowly) put the carseat down by the door. I did not take off my shoes. I did not remove my jacket. I walked gingerly over to the couch and was so greatful that not even a board in my very old house squeaked. I very slowly, and quietly, lowered myself to the couch. The springs didn’t make a noise. I listened. The baby was breathing deeply, sleeping soundly. I took a deep breath, smiled at my own genius, and I slowly laid my head back. My eyes shut. I swear no sooner had my lids touched, did the baby wake. And not one of those peaceful, I’m happy cooing noises. It was a full on scream without warning. No naps for mommy. No mater how many times I have tried, I just don’t get to nap. When I was on maternity leave, I was napping daily. Now that mommyhood is a full-time gig….no such luck.
2. Stay-at-Home Moms Make Dinner
Really? I thought this? What was I thinking! I didn’t really have time for this as a working mother. I would come home and throw some leftovers at the kids and rush for baths and sweet, sweet bedtime. Somehow, even though I am steps away from the kitchen everyday, I don’t really have time for dinner prep. How is that possible? I can at least say that since being a full-time mom, we have yet to run out of milk. I’m pretty proud of my accomplishment.
3. Stay-at-Home Moms Get to Wear Jeans
Yes, that’s right…my former working-mom-self was totally jealous of the stay-at-home mom’s jeans. Not ‘mom’ jeans, because no one wears those except ‘old’ moms, right? Anyway, I used to get dressed in the morning in my nice dress clothes, slacks, skirts, shirts with buttons (yes, buttons!) or maybe a blazor. And every morning I was would be thinking of how lucky those moms are who get to wear jeans because they stay at home! Now, I think jeans are dressing up. I wear yoga pants, exercise clothes — and they are mostly dirty, even if they started out clean.
4. Stay-at-Home Moms ‘Do Lunch’
I think this came from my mom. She was a stay-at-home mom and I was lucky to have her. When I started kindergarden, my mom had my little brother and we moved to a new town. She made a friend who kids were also in school. She used to tell me that they would go out for lunch in a new part of the city at least once a week. You should hear her tell it, I’m not doing it justice. It sounded amazing. Now that I am living her life, I don’t know if she just has fond memories or if she has permanently blocked out what it is like to go out to lunch with a baby. I think they went through the drive through and kept driving to keep the baby sleeping. Although as a stay-at-home mom I could lunch, I much prefer my working lunches or my lunches with my working friends…much more relaxing than with a baby in tow!
5. Stay-at-Home Moms Don’t Work
I think this is the biggest myth of all. Although the stay-at-home mom does not have a job in the traditional sense. We work. And I don’t mean all the mothering stuff. Working moms do that too! Stay-at-home moms are the first ones to get called to volunteer at the school or recruit volunteers, or bake something or sell something or plan something…because we don’t ‘work.’ We also don’t get sick days, vacation days or personal days. And weekends are just like any other day of the week. I have a great husband, who is very involved with the children. He does his best to give me a break in the evenings and/or on the weekends. But if I took the weekends off or every evening, I would never get to do bedtime and we would never have family time. So I work in the nontraditional sense. 🙂
Having been on both sides, what were some of your stay-at-home mom myths?
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