Thank you for sharing your journey. It is quite inspiring to read about your progress and your thoughts on Body Image. We all need work in that area! We all need to be nicer to ourselves.
Hopefully this will make you laugh…There was a meltdown in Target yesterday. It was terrible. It was embarrassing. And it wasn’t my child…it was me.
My big kids were home from school sick and we needed supplies. So, we headed out to Target. Because it was a school day, they got to ride in one of those giant carts with the two seats in the back. Score! They were pretty cute making faces at the baby to make him laugh. We grabbed our items — and of course a few extra, it is Target.
We get to the checkout and the kids are running out of steam. I look around and of course there are like twenty lines but only four are open. I pull the giant beast that is my cart into a line. The big kids jump out and start looking at all the little toys and candy they sell right there in the lane to really push parents over the edge. I glance ahead and the person in front of me only has 10 things, whew. I watch my kids, check my phone…wait. After about 5 minutes the cashier yells at me, ‘excuse me, but i’m closed.’ She gestures at the light — that I swear was on before — and looks at me like I’m an idiot.
Fine. I curse under my breath. I called the kids over and started wrestling the beast over to a new line. It took a few minutes and some major muscle groups. I finally get over there and I see the person in front of me has two thousands things. Probably only 50, but it sure seemed like a lot.
Remember the cashier who was closed? Well, she called out to me and said she would go ahead and take me. She said it with that tone — you know the one — if you are going to make me do my job, I guess I will and you owe me a huge thank you for doing it.
I lost it.
A part of me that I haven’t seen before erupted. I yelled at her. Out loud. In front of my kids who stared at me with saucer-like eyes. As someone who hates confrontation, I have never yelled at someone like that before. I was furious. I turned into someone else.
She said something snarky under her breath and walked off to take her brake. Two minutes later she was out there again. At the same register. Checking out new people. My response? I made a really mature, very loud comment about her lack of break. I was rude. I was snarkier (is that word???).
I finished checking out. Gathered my children. I was about to walk out. Then I looked at my kids. Is this really the lesson I am teaching? To yell when you are treated badly? To be snarky and rude back? I would be appalled if they acted the way I just did — even if I was frustrated and even if she was totally inappropriate. I was too.
So, I apologized. I went over there with my kids in tow so they could hear. I told the cashier that my reaction wasn’t OK or appropriate. She stammered and started to explain why she thought her behavior was justified. I put my hand up to stop her. I didn’t want to hear that (she probably owed me an apology too). I just said I shouldn’t have yelled and I was sorry.
My kids heard every word. I hope they got the lesson. In life we don’t always act the way we should. But when we behave poorly, we should apologize for our actions.
Thankfully, I don’t have too many meltdowns.