No. No, I Don’t Want to Help End Childhood Hunger.

“Would you like to help end childhood hunger?”  The checker smiles sweetly as she drops a loaf of bread into the last bag.

I am distracted and straining to hold my patience. Guy, sitting in the cart, has managed to undo the safety buckle and is crouched on the seat, threatening to leap. And Bug is fingering every candy bar, begging  in her most whinny voice for a treat she knows I’ll never buy.

I glance at the checker, “What did you say?”

She smiles again, “Would you like to end childhood hunger?”  I stare at her stiffly.  I actually already answered this question.  The card reader asked me too, when I swiped my credit card.  Did I want to round-up my total as a donation for such n’such foundation, it asked.  I’d quietly pressed the “no” button, but now, now this lady is asking me again.  And I need to answer her.  Out Loud.

Do I want to end childhood hunger?

Yes or no.

The implications of my answer flush my cheeks crimson.  Of course I want to end childhood hunger, but wanting kids to have enough food is not the same thing as wanting to donate to some organization the grocery store has arbitrarily selected for me to support.  But what am I supposed to do? At this point the only way to avoid a donation is to literally say,”No I don’t want to end childhood hunger.”  And seriously, who the hell is going to say that?

I glance at the total shining on the register, $137.32.  I glance at my children, their well-fed, dimpled hands working to fish a quart of blueberries out of a bag.child hunger

The checker breaks in to my thoughts with a cheerful, “It’s just $.68!”

“Right,” I say, “Sure, why not.” Like I had a choice.

I leave the store in a rush of frustration I don’t totally understand.  Because what’s the big deal?  I mean,  come on, it is only $.68, and here I stand with a cart full of food, much of which, like blueberries, are not essential to basic survival, and I do, in fact, want to stop child hunger.  I care about that.  A lot.  So why wouldn’t I donate?

But you know what I don’t care for?  I don’t care for being railroaded into a guilt laden donation at the super market.

What I don’t care for is the manipulative quality of the grocery store interaction– the card reader asked me to donate; I said no, and that should have been it.  But then checker asked again , and with a contrived, scripted question designed to shame me into giving.

No bueno.

Look, I believe in charitable giving.   My husband and I give as generously as we can to organizations and causes we believe in– and TRUST.

I don’t mind being asked for donations– even at the store– that’s how charities raise money,  but I do object to having my emotions exploited.  I have a right to say no, and exercising that right doesn’t make me stingy or selfish, yet every aspect of this type of interaction is orchestrated to make the potential giver feel exactly that.  “Do you want to end childhood hunger?” is a much different question than, “Do you want to donate to Bla-Bla Foundation?”

When I give I like to give freely and from my heart.  But in this case, I only said yes because I didn’t want to say no.

Every time I go to the grocery store (so like 500x a week) I’m asked for a donation for some organization or other, this week it was hungry kids, next week it will be to find the cure for cancer, or to save beaten puppies, or for clean drinking water in developing nations– all worthy causes.  All causes I support.

But I will likely say no.

I will say no for the same reason I walk out of high pressure car dealerships, away from pushy “shop girls”, and hang-up on telemarketers.

I simply don’t like supporting groups who employ calculated coercion to make money.

It’s the principle of the thing.

What do you think?  Is this an issue worth being principled about?



8 thoughts on “No. No, I Don’t Want to Help End Childhood Hunger.

  1. Natasha says:

    Wow, I can’t believe they actually asked that. I’m comfortable saying no like you said when they ask to support a certain organization, because like you, we donate where we can on our terms. I think I would have called them out on that wording, but really it wouldn’t have mattered, because it was probably a clueless teenager doing the checking and saying what they were told. Anyway, I agree with you, of course we want to end world hunger and maybe we shouldn’t stress about $.68, but…but….it’s the principle of it! 🙂

  2. greenapples says:

    One of my pet peeves is getting bombarded on my way into Walmart while I’m looking like an absolute scumbag *obviously*, because it’s the only day of the week I don’t have to get dressed up for something. Girl Scouts, boys football, some Christian brothers of such and such group……..I refuse to donate to a single one of those things based solely on the fact that they’re standing out there. Shame on those groups – especially the Girl Scouts if I’m being honest because it’s them 90% of the time. What do the Girl Scouts and my shopping trip to Walmart have in common? Absolutely nothing. Moms, group leaders – you need to come up with some more creative, relevant concepts that actually have something to do with the reason you’ve got your children out there hawking your overpriced cookies!

    • Kelly says:

      It is your choice to keep walking, but It’s my choice to continue standing in front of Walmart selling my overpriced cookies while I am:
      1) teaching my daughter the principles of business
      2) raising money for an organization that is teaching my daughter courage, confidence and character.
      3) raising money to support our service projects to give back to our community; and lastly
      4) spending quality time mentoring girls who otherwise do not have access to a positive role model.

      My Girl Scout troop will never badger someone as they pass through to enter the store and in fact we do not stand in front of the doorway even, intentionally. I personally find your comment offensive and somewhat hostile.

    • Kelly says:

      And one other point: I find it hard to believe it is Girl Scouts 90% of the time as our cookie sale is only 2 1/2 months long and actually regulated to begin/end on specific dates depending on where you are in the country.

  3. andthreetogo says:

    I completely agree… not only with the abruptness of their pressure to make one donate, but also the fact that I rarely know the charity that they are collecting for. I choose to donate through charities I know and trust as well. Great post!

  4. Carey says:

    I agree, Nat, I don’t want to be guilted into anything. But more importantly, I want to research the charities I give to. I want to know who they are. While your office or the local grocery store may have their pet charities and campaign tenaciously, I won’t succumb to the pressure. I’m going to hear some ‘boos’ but I don’t give to the United Way. Why? Because they are a clearinghouse for many charities, some of whom I won’t support. Generosity needs discernment in its giving, and guilt can have no sway in that decision.

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