So I have been driving the Swagger Wagon for almost a year now. And yes, I’m still going to call it that. I mean, there is no way I’m saying I drive a F*ing Minivan!
I could probably come up with a better name…maybe Bob? or Selma? Sallie Mae? (I paid off my loans and now I have a new one!)
Anyway, not that I have become accustom to the bells and whistles–I’m started to enjoy them, even respect them a little bit.
Case in point. Cricket wanted a playdate, so I invited another little girl from her class over. That, of course, almost sent Little Man over the edge because IT ISN’T FAIR! So that is how I ended up with six kids who needed a ride. And the Swagger Wagon (Bob?) fit the bill.
We piled them in there, extra carseats and all. I survived as the only adult at a six kid playdate without drinking (sometimes nursing blows) and we all had a great time.
Now I’m obsessed with all the benefits of the van. Like the sliding doors! My kids just jump out of the Swaggor Wagon like little ninjas. I imagine them hitting the ground, tucking and rolling with their little backpacks strapped on — off to conquer school! Well, it doesn’t exactly go like that but you get the idea. (My Little Man’s Ninjas are pictured in this post.)
There is also this rearview camera. So cool. I am now a parallel parking fool. I haven’t had this much practice since I was stuck in my driver’s ed class between two orange cones. Man, I’m good. I sneak my giant ride into the smallest of spaces with the help of that camera. My five-foot nothing self can’t actually see the back without it, so there’s that too.
And don’t even get me started on the glorious seat heaters. I gift really.
So, I may still drive a F*ing Minivan, but I’ve got a little more swagger about it now!
PS: I’m calling it a Swagger Wagon because of this video — personally, I drive the Odyssey, but this is my life as I imagine it! Swagger Wagon